I think it’s dangerous to believe one is special when not, but it’s also dangerous not to act like you’re special, even if you aren’t. The Mediocrity Principle is a key idea in science, which basically says: From Edge: The mediocrity principle simply states that you aren’t special. The universe does not revolve around you, this planet isn’t…
The Power of a Name
I noticed something today that I found fascinating. I know a guy in information security who is pretty much stellar in every category. Dependable. Smart. Well-rounded. Professional. Polished. He has it all. But he doesn’t stand out at all. He blends into the background. People who don’t know what he’s capable of based on experience simply dismiss him…
Power Enables Excellence
As I wrote about in my previous post, names matter a lot, and I think titles and rank do as well, specifically when others are around and respect them. The umbrella here seems to be that people are dramatically affected by how others view them. That’s too bland. People become what they’re perceived as. Of course that’s too…
How To Safely Get Interviewed by a Journalist
I recently did a class on how to handle journalists, and I wanted to capture some basics of what I learned: Interviews can be highly chaotic based on many variables, and the goal of training is to have more control over outcomes. Your message is primary. Have it fully approved, planned, and ready before doing the interview. Every…
Children Are Different People
I find it fascinating that people think of children as earlier versions of themselves. To me they’re just different people. Perhaps we should define some things. I think that for someone to be “you”, they need to be extraordinarily similar to you as you are today. Maybe other people were like that when they were kids. I was…
Separate the Life Model from the Person
There is a tendency among those who strive for constant self-improvement to look down upon, or otherwise judge, those who have poor or antiquated life models. By “life model” I mean a perspective on the world, such as: Paganism Atheism Janism Christianity Mormonism Catholicism Islam Secular Humanism Nihilism Libertarianism Foon As someone who biases towards Secular Humanism (if…
Many Racists Are Also Not Racist
There’s a problem with calling someone racist. The problem is that it assumes a person either is or isn’t, like a 1 or a 0, which doesn’t map to reality. What’s more likely is that someone who holds deeply anti-racist views, is also somewhat racist. Both are true at the same time. It’s two different people, basically, and…
A Dualist Theory of Gender and Equality
I was driving home today on the 101 and was struck by a thought. What if we were to think of individuals—men and women, as two different beings? So a man would be both a gender (male) and non-gender (intellect), and a woman would be the same. What I think this explains about our situation, that other models…
Scientific Justification of the Critique Sandwich
Anyone in a management or mentor role has probably heard the concept of sandwiching criticism between positivity. So instead of saying, Man, you really need to show up on time… You should instead say, Hi Mike, we really appreciate the work you do here. We have noticed you coming in late a lot though, and we need that…
Your Relationship With Failure Determines Your Potential
Image by Claire May Few things are more defining in life than one’s relationship with failure, and up until a few years ago I had it all wrong. Being somewhat obsessed with perfect execution, failure has always acted like a poison that seeped into the food and air supply where I failed. Failure revealed to me, and to…
On Giving Advice to Friends
Question: When is it acceptable to give personal advice to a friend? I’m speaking specifically of a scenario in which Chris believes Michael is doing something that is negatively affecting either him or those around him. Chris’s goal in mentioning this thing is to get Michael to realize that it’s negative, to become aware of it, and then…
Impostor Syndrome
The impostor syndrome, sometimes called impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as…
The Principle of Many Truths
I’ve been thinking recently about a concept I call “The Principle of Many Truths”. It’s a way of explaining why people can present differing points of view depending on when and how they’re asked about something. It’s hard to grok without examples, so here are a couple: Someone claims to believe in God, yet they sin constantly and…
An Elegant Explanation for Why Famous Men Constantly Get Caught Cheating
Testosterone does two things to men: 1) it makes them horny, and 2) it makes them more likely to take risks. Famous people (politicians, athletes, etc.) tend to have high testosterone because getting to that position required significant competitiveness. As a result, famous people (Tiger Woods, Anthony Wiener, General Patraeus) are more likely to both pursue young women…
The Simple Reason New Year Resolutions Are Crap
New Years resolutions are supposedly for people who plan on making changes in their lives. But they really aren’t. They’re actually for people who only talk about making changes and never do. People who actually make changes, like losing 20 lbs., or getting back into a favorite hobby, just wake up one day and decide to do it.…
Anatomy of a Twitter Post: How to Obscure Narcissism with Wit
There are two reasons to read a book: one is to read it, and the other is tell people you read it. — Bertrand Russell First, let’s state the obvious: you need a bit of ego to maintain a Twitter account. Not to experiment, but to keep doing it. To do so you must believe that the world…
Modern Science on Self-Control, and 4 Things You Can Do Immediately to Improve It
Image from scientificamerican.com Scientists are now discovering that self-control is a precious, finite resource that can be raised and lowered by a number of factors and activities. Listed below are three prominent studies on the topic, followed by four things you can do to ensure you never find yourself with a depleted supply. The Sugar Study Summary: If…
Silence Magnifies Death
I think the worst part of facing the unexpected death of a loved one is the silence of the dead person. When something as traumatic as death happens, a supernatural aura is placed on the event that magnifies the pain. The silence of the dead person–and perhaps the circumstances as well–combine to create a feeling of agony. It’s…
Availability Bias
One of the most important dynamics at play within layperson debate is Availability Bias, which is where people are prone to believe that something is true because of the experiences they’ve had. Example: Person A says smoking is dangerous, and Person B says it isn’t because his grandfather smoked continuously for 95 years before dying in a freak…
Change Blindness
Will Power in Finite Supply
An interesting study has just been published in Psychology and Health that shows that when you restrain yourself emotionally you deplete what seems to be a finite amount of will power you have for the day. I think this has interesting implications for people in certain fields, like day trading, or professional gambling. But I repeat myself. No,…
Want: A Disease Based in Low Self-Esteem
Here are three related scenarios: You own the DVD of a good movie, but you never watch it. But if that movie happens to come on TV–even mangled by commercials–you’ll see it the whole way through. Your manager thinks consultants, or maybe a prospective hire that’s not on the team yet, know much more than you–even if there…
The Worst Sickness of All
I’ve noticed an ailment that a few of my male friends from the South have. This isn’t to say it’s a uniquely Southern thing, but I have yet to notice it in any of my friends from California. It’s so unspeakable that I’ve been putting off writing about it for years, but alas, I feel like it should…
Why People Like Kurzweil Get it Wrong
This post shows someone expressing disappointment with some future predictions given by Kurzweil back in 1999. Here they are as documented by the poster: Individuals primarily use portable computers Portable computers have dramatically become lighter and thinner Personal computers are available in a wide range of sizes and shapes, and are commonly embedded in clothing and jewelry, like…
What Parts of Your Identity Are Practical vs. Ideal?
How much of the way you live your life is because of the environment you live in as opposed to being true manifestations of your identity? How many of your beliefs and personality characteristics are simply necessary due to the world we live in? It’s a weird question, so let me try and help using myself as an…
Whole Foods Elitism
I like the way Whole Foods makes me feel, but I don’t like the fact that it makes me feel that way. It reeks of elitism to me. Not the rancid, “treat others badly” type of elitism, but the “I’m better because I do x” kind. It feels so good, but I hate it. I hate not being…
The Ultimate Masculinity Test: A Laser Pointer
I am about to present to you the best masculinity test in the entire world. Forget all those brain scans. Forget the surveys. If you’re wondering if someone is a man or not just bust out a nice laser pointer one night, and shine it on something far away. If the response is, “you’re stupid”, then you’re talking…
Contemplating Confirmation Bias
Image from weber.edu As I sit here at my allergist waiting on the all-clear after my shots, I’m thinking about something that’s been bothering me for a while. It’s called Confirmation Bias, and it essentially means that once you’re in a camp, you tend to take inputs that agree with that camp. And as you do so you…
The Simple, Effective Way to Track What’s Said About You on the Internet
You don’t have to be an ego-freak to wonder if others are talking about you online. Egosurfing, i.e. the act of looking yourself up in search engines, is something most regular Internet users have done at least once. It’s very human to want to know if we’re affecting the world we live in. So the old way to…
Hacking and Grinding: The Balance Between Passion and Self Control
I think a lot about what makes people successful, both in a general sense and also on an individual basis. The model I’ve been working on for the last couple of years has to do with hackers vs. grinders, or passion vs. self-control. Basically, some people, like myself, are successful because they are passionate about something that happens…
My Thoughts on Depression
A new BBC piece is highlighting an alternate approach to depression. Rather than assume that it’s something that should immediately be countered with drugs, how about addressing the things that are making you depressed? A leading psychiatrist says that depression is not a human defect at all, but a defence mechanism that in its mild and moderate forms…
The Dunning-Kruger Effect
This explains a lot. The Dunning-Kruger effect describes the phenomenon whereby people who don’t know anything about something think they know more than those who do. The peculiar part is that those who lack the expertise are often far more confident and forceful when they discuss the issue than those who are knowledgeable. This is because those who…
Our Fickle Minds
I read news items by opening them in background Firefox tabs from Google Reader. I go through the feeds that I’m reading at the moment, open all that are interesting, and then close my reader app. What’s interesting about this is that if I leave for a bit before reading my open tabs, something strange happens — none…
The Nice Guy Paradox [Solved]
Most guys know about the nice guy paradox. It’s where they’ve been told since they were young — both by women and by society in general — that women like “nice” guys. And because they’ve been told this over and over, most guys grow up trying this approach only to have reality kick them in the groin. This…
Atheism and the Substitution Phenomenon
Many atheists that I’ve known, including myself, exhibited an interesting behavior during and after their transition from faith to non-faith. I call this behavior substitution. Here’s how it works: the atheist, having spent so much of his life loving this underlying, structure-giving entity, finds himself in need of something similar upon becoming a non-believer. It’s as if an…
Measuring The Quality Of A Society
I can always tell when I’m in a bad neighborhood. I don’t have to witness crimes or even see another human being at all. The little things give it away. The first thing I notice about gas stations, for example, is whether or not the little support thingy has been removed from the pump’s trigger mechanism. You know,…
Self-Control is The Key to Success
I’ve been thinking lately about how I can improve myself, or, more accurately, what the barriers are to my growing at a higher rate. Interestingly enough, all indications point to a single source — self-control. I’ve thought for a while now that this was the case, but this article really laid it down for me. It’s true; it’s…
What Does Your Toilet Paper Roll Say About You?
So I’ve had a theory for many years now. It’s not particularly poignant or anything, but I figured it’s my blog so I might as well indulge. I think it may be possible to determine the degree of masculinity/assertiveness a person has by observing how they prefer to place a roll of toilet paper on the spool. I…