I have a problem. I am having serious trouble when faced with large, never-ending paperwork-based projects that require little to no thought.

This should not be a problem. Example: Take this form, call this person, file that form, send an email. Receive an email, print the email, file the printout, make a call. File that form in that shared directory, update the spreadsheet…etc. This work should not be difficult for me but it’s killing me.

Kill like death.

I can fly through other projects that are infinitely more difficult: conceptualizing an approach to a problem, optimizing problem-solving processes, creatively building support for infosec, managing vendor engagements, assessing the risk of a project or initiative. And of course the technical stuff. And I don’t have problems with writing or presentations either–in fact I love that stuff.

But ask me to manage a set of folders with constant, multiple inputs and outputs (especially if they involve starts and stops with roadblocks) and I completely shut down. I stress out to the point of seeking distraction–any distraction–in order to maintain sanity.

Then bad things happen to the project in question.

So how do I deal with this? How do you deal with it? I see two obvious options:

1. Learn to get past my issues with this type of work, or
2. Accept this as a weakness and focus on things I do well

The problem with #1 is I don’t know how to do this yet. The problem with #2 is that it’s hard to find managers who understand and/or accept that I could be so good at other things and yet bad at something “simple”. Also, I don’t really want to run from a weakness; I’d rather eliminate it if it’s at all an option.

I need to solve this. Any input would be highly appreciated. ::

Me in 87′ busting out with a handplant.

Ah, the days of Converse Allstars…

howstuffworks.com

How much of the way you live your life is because of the environment you live in as opposed to being true manifestations of your identity? How many of your beliefs and personality characteristics are simply necessary due to the world we live in? It’s a weird question, so let me try and help using myself as an example.

I enjoy nice things. I drive a 335i. I carry a William Henry knife. I wear a Submariner. I’m also proud of my career in information security, and of the skills I’ve attained in that field. And I love mixed martial arts.

Is this me, or is this me as I think I need to be given a crude, primal world?

How would your personality be different if you were not competing for a mate? What if you didn’t have to work, and were free to do whatever you wanted with your time? How about if there were no violence in the world? Or if we as humans weren’t such emotional animals.

If the answer is that you would be different, and perhaps to a large extent, then are we not living a false identity? Are we not 95% external-interface and 5% real? Think of the waste this causes in terms of creativity and exploration.

Who are you, really?

I think I’d be far more intellectual, and far less aggressive. And it bothers me that my identity is based on my surroundings. I mean, sure, that’s just reality. We are forged by our surroundings, but I don’t like when it serves as overhead to true progress.

Ok, final thought: make a list of attributes that describe you (or you wish described you). Here’s mine:

• intelligent
• male / masculine
• funny
• athletic
• physical
• sexual
• aggressive / strong
• educated
• active
• cool
• intellectual
• fun-loving
• curious
• daring

So the game is to start taking things away from this list, least-important to most-important, until only the most core things to your identity remain. The things you decide to keep say a lot about who you are, or at least who you want to be.

The question then for yourself is, “is that the person I should be trying to be?”.

Thoughts? ::

Perhaps it’s too early to tell, but it seems I’ve taken something of a swing toward the left lately. It’s odd, really.

I’m hesitant to call it permanent, however, as this could just be a reaction to an exceptionally incompetent and maligned GOP campaign. But I don’t think that accounts for all of this.

Libertarianism is Not the Answer

The thing is…even more than anti-Republican I’ve been feeling anti-libertarian, and that’s a big deal to me.

And before we go too far with that, let me highlight a distinction: it’s not that I’ve decided libertarianism is the wrong way to go, it’s that I’ve decided it’s not practical given our current situation, and therefore that it’s the wrong way to go.

Basically, libertarianism is based on what I am starting to believe is a fictional proposition, i.e. that people have the innate ability to make responsible decisions for themselves despite being retarded by their environments or hindered by their natural limitations.

If this is false then the whole concept of libertarianism breaks down, and I think it may be false.

This doesn’t mean libertarianism isn’t ideal. It doesn’t mean it’s not the best way. I think it most definitely is. But it fails to take into account what we are as humans, and as societies.

Most importantly, libertarianism ignores the basic formula of individual = environment x natural limits, and that natural law does not equate to moral law. Those who benefit from advantage in their environment, and those who have natural gifts will rise to the top. And those without one or both will sink. This is nature, but it doesn’t make it right.

Quite simply, libertarianism is a system of government for the evolved, and we’re nowhere near ready. That much freedom requires a whole lot more self-discipline than we currently possess. And that’s where socialism comes in–it’s the training wheels on our growth as humans. As I’ve said before, socialism is the means to libertarianism.

Compensating

So, now that Obama has won I am likely to swing in the opposite direction, as a control on a likely leftist extreme. He’ll handle many things well, and some things great. But after the shock of having someone competent in office wears off his weaknesses (see “disagreements with me”) will become more pronounced. This is especially true because even though he’s intelligent and thoughtful, there are many in the congress who are liberal extremists who don’t temper their compassion with logic.

There are a few of these that I intend to reject outright if I see them. The most important of these is multiculturalism, i.e. the dissolving of a single, American identity and/or the embracing of many that oppose it. Much more on this later, as I feel it’s the single biggest threat to America’s existence.

Anyway, this election has sharpened my desires to be involved politically, and there will be many times in the future when this will be brought to bear in opposition to Obama’s policies. Multiculturalism, education, crime–these are all areas where I am going break strongly from Obama on key points, and I’m more ready than ever to do so.

Forward

That’s the direction for me right now. I welcome and embrace the liberal swing, even as it leans toward socialist concepts, but I continue as a voice against the perilous lack of cold logic that often leads the overly compassionate to cause more harm than good.:

I’ve been a bit depressed lately. I’m behind on projects at work, and it’s really getting to me. I haven’t been working out (which leads to a lack of enthusiasm for life). I haven’t been learning much new in my field lately (due to being behind on projects). Etc. Etc.

Meh.

But that’s not the bad part. What I’m really worried about is the economy. Yeah, I know, everyone is. But I’m not worried about how a milk costing 20% more will affect me; I’m worried about how it’s effect on other people is going to effect me. That sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but what I’m saying is that I have an unshakeable feeling that things are about to go sideways.

I mean seriously sideways. Like civil unrest. Like looting. Like…sideways.

My problem is that I tend to go heavy on the hyperbole with things like this. I have an active imagination, and it’s impossible for someone with my minimal knowledge of macro-economics to understand what the true variables are. This combination leads to speculation–in a bad way.

But what I do think I have a handle on is the potential for violence within our country. I don’t think most realize how little the perception of order needs to be disrupted for large numbers of people, within every city, to simply decide to go batshit crazy. And that’s just for fun. That’s not counting when they actually can’t eat. Then it’s going to get seriously messed up.

So what’s a logical person to do? You don’t go buy shotguns and booby traps and prepare to kill your neighbors. That’s lame. And you don’t just sit back and hope (or pray) that everything will be fine. That’s lame too.

Logic lies somewhere between those extremes. My current recommendation is to buy enough food, water, and supplies to be able to not go outside for 2-4 weeks. And to consider buying a weapon to protect yourself and your family. Nothing outrageous: a handgun or rifle, or whatever, and some rounds.

In other words, don’t go all Mad Max and shit, but don’t be naive either. I don’t expect things to stay bad for long before they get set back right. Chaos is not good for those in power, so all the iron filings will push us towards order pretty quickly. And if that doesn’t happen, and it gets really bad, well…that’s just not even worth contemplating since you will be helpless regardless of how well you prepare (unless you can live off the land and protect yourself indefinitely).

So yeah, we’re only preparing for the minor craziness–like 2-4 weeks worth of minor civil unrest, some looting, some food shortages, etc.–not the apocalypse stuff.

Anyway, why do I think this is necessary? Because I am of the opinion that we’re about to see a period of hyper-inflation caused by the world failing to “believe in”, i.e. back, our currency. And we’ll just print more…and more…and more…until it becomes virtually worthless.

Enter $20 gallons of milk, and $15 gallons of gas.

Now, considering that some 37 million Americans live in poverty, what do you think that’s going to do to crime when they can’t pay for their basic needs? They’re going to do the same thing you or I would do, i.e. whatever it takes.

I see dark times ahead. Hopefully I’m wrong (along with Peter Schiff and Glenn Beck and countless others) and I can bury this post along with all my other stupid ones–of which there are many.

But I might not be. And if I’m not then you’re going to wish you got your 2-4 weeks of food and water and supplies together like I recommended. I’d rather feel stupid about doing it and never needing it than the other way around.

Anyway, here’s to hoping I’m being stupid.:

I’ve updated my about me page. If you have the time head over and tell me what I should add/remove/modify. All comments are welcome.

Links

[ About Me | dmiessler.com ]

I have much in the queue to write about, and I look forward to getting a short breather so I can purge. There’s been a blitzkrieg of projects at work, however, so I’m currently buried both there and with my writing.

No worries, though — I have all my ideas written down and continue to add to them. The only real bad situation is having a good idea about something to write and then forgetting it.

Anyway, more to come soon.

Oh, and by the way, Hillary gaining like 2 delegates against Obama this late in the game…that’s not a victory; that’s a loss. Either she can’t add or she’s now openly putting herself before the democratic party. She can add.:

A story, told in comic format, of how the virtual world can be quite real indeed.

[ Animal Crossing ]

I’m often slightly sick (congestion and such) but I rarely get really sick. Right now I’m really sick. Flu, cold, whatever — it’s evil.

My ideal world is the one Kimya Dawson sings about. I wish I could be as free as she is. So much of what I am is a construct designed to interface with an ugly reality. Life would be much better if we didn’t need such things.

Kimya Dawson knows what the good life is. She sings about it.