The Nice Guy Paradox [Solved]

By Daniel Miessler on May 8th, 2007: Tagged as Musings | Psychology | Science | Sex | Women

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Most guys know about the nice guy paradox. It’s where they’ve been told since they were young — both by women and by society in general — that women like “nice” guys. And because they’ve been told this over and over, most guys grow up trying this approach only to have reality kick them in the groin.

This bothers guys. A lot. Why would women claim to want someone who will treat them nice, but then repeatedly turn down or mistreat those that give them exactly what they claim to want? Well, I have the answer, and like most major truisms it’s pretty simple:

Women like when guys are nice to them, but only when they don’t have to be.

Think about that. Most guys exclusively using the “nice” approach are doormats, and many are so because that’s all they can be. They lack the attributes to attract a woman based on pure gravity (physical size/strength/prowess, ambition, sexuality, intelligence, money, etc.). As a result, these guys are essentially forced to grovel in order to attract a mate, which is patently unattractive.

Quite simply, women like powerful men to be nice to them, not feminized pseudo-men. A weak man being nice to a woman is essentially an act of submission, like a beggar bowing his head and calling you sir. Sure, they were respectful to you, but they just asked you for money so it’s not as meaningful as if it came from a peer or superior.

To get the true benefit of “nice” in the way that women enjoy, one has to be able to attract that same woman without being nice, i.e. by the sheer force of masculine character. Only once that foundation of primal respect is in place can the higher-order offerings such as kindness be appreciated. It’s counter-intuitive and it’s unpleasant, but we’re dealing with nature here. Don’t fight the rules. To do so is as pointless as picketing gravity or boycotting inertia.:

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  • The Unveiled

    Wow, Aaron sounds like a real man… NOT! I guarantee that Aaron is a semi-retarded loser who is in his 30's and still lives with his parents. The stupid fuck can't even make a coherent statement.

    He claims to be six foot, six inches and “good looking, powerful, an make 10K a month” [sic]. It is easy to lie on Teh Inturnets. Anything to feel better about being 5'5″ but weighing 230 lbs., making $9 an hour, and looking like someone swatted a fly on his face with a 20-gage shotgun shell (but having survived much to the chagrin of everyone).

    Point # 1 is incoherent. He doesn't want gay kids. I wouldn't want a borderline-retarded monstrosity like “Aaron” to have ANY kids, and would personally castrate or euthanize him if I could. However IF he were to have kids we should hope they all turn out gay so as to minimize the chance of reproducing and thus perpetuating “Aaron's” defective DNA. The remainder of the “sentence” is so gramatically poor as to be entirely incoherent. But from what I can gather “Aaron” is unaware of a blatant contradiction he stated. Aparently he believes being gay is “genetic” and something people choose to do to be “trendy.” Well it can't be both, retard! (And he says something about being “a sign your extremely stupid” [sic]… oh the irony!) One must wonder if “Aaron's” incoherent homophobic mumblings are a reflection of his own severely repressed homosexuality. Hey “Aaron,” why did you take a break from looking at gay porn in your mom's basement to post your idiocy on this blog?

    As to point # 3, this is especially a problem for a fat, lazy dumbfuck like “Aaron” who NEEDS a woman to take care of him, lest he is restricted to a diet of fastfood and TV dinners while lounging about in feces-stained clothing in a dorito-crusted basement.

    Regarding point #4, “Aaron” the closet faggot made a point about American women being obese. Granted, this is a real problem. However, I guarantee that his massive gut was hanging out of a too-tight white Dorito-stained T-shirt while typing said statement, and that the hypocrisy and irony were lost on him. (Notwithstanding his obviously false claim to being “6'6, good looking, powerful” [sic].)

    Of course, my favorite line was this: “However AW didn't count on the fact theres over a billion foreign women out there who'll slit everyones throats to get a rich kind American Man”

    Too bad that “foreign women” are often classier and more attractive than American women (or “AW” as the borderline-illiterate author of the above post calls them). I somehow doubt they would be going for broke, obese, ugly, moderately retarded losers like “Aaron.” (Speaking of which, how does someone with an IQ of 75 or less make $10,000.00 a month?)

    P.S. I made numerous references to “Aaron's” parents' basement, but I neglected the possibility that his parents do not have a basement because their house is on wheels. It would not surprise me in the least to discover that Aaron is from a long line of inbred trailer trash.

  • The Unveiled

    Wow, Aaron sounds like a real man… NOT! I guarantee that Aaron is a semi-retarded loser who is in his 30's and still lives with his parents. The stupid fuck can't even make a coherent statement.

    He claims to be six foot, six inches and “good looking, powerful, an make 10K a month” [sic]. It is easy to lie on Teh Inturnets. Anything to feel better about being 5'5″ but weighing 230 lbs., making $9 an hour, and looking like someone swatted a fly on his face with a 20-gage shotgun shell (but having survived much to the chagrin of everyone).

    Point # 1 is incoherent. He doesn't want gay kids. I wouldn't want a borderline-retarded monstrosity like “Aaron” to have ANY kids, and would personally castrate or euthanize him if I could. However IF he were to have kids we should hope they all turn out gay so as to minimize the chance of reproducing and thus perpetuating “Aaron's” defective DNA. The remainder of the “sentence” is so gramatically poor as to be entirely incoherent. But from what I can gather “Aaron” is unaware of a blatant contradiction he stated. Aparently he believes being gay is “genetic” and something people choose to do to be “trendy.” Well it can't be both, retard! (And he says something about being “a sign your extremely stupid” [sic]… oh the irony!) One must wonder if “Aaron's” incoherent homophobic mumblings are a reflection of his own severely repressed homosexuality. Hey “Aaron,” why did you take a break from looking at gay porn in your mom's basement to post your idiocy on this blog?

    As to point # 3, this is especially a problem for a fat, lazy dumbfuck like “Aaron” who NEEDS a woman to take care of him, lest he is restricted to a diet of fastfood and TV dinners while lounging about in feces-stained clothing in a dorito-crusted basement.

    Regarding point #4, “Aaron” the closet faggot made a point about American women being obese. Granted, this is a real problem. However, I guarantee that his massive gut was hanging out of a too-tight white Dorito-stained T-shirt while typing said statement, and that the hypocrisy and irony were lost on him. (Notwithstanding his obviously false claim to being “6'6, good looking, powerful” [sic].)

    Of course, my favorite line was this: “However AW didn't count on the fact theres over a billion foreign women out there who'll slit everyones throats to get a rich kind American Man”

    Too bad that “foreign women” are often classier and more attractive than American women (or “AW” as the borderline-illiterate author of the above post calls them). I somehow doubt they would be going for broke, obese, ugly, moderately retarded losers like “Aaron.” (Speaking of which, how does someone with an IQ of 75 or less make $10,000.00 a month?)

    P.S. I made numerous references to “Aaron's” parents' basement, but I neglected the possibility that his parents do not have a basement because their house is on wheels. It would not surprise me in the least to discover that Aaron is from a long line of inbred trailer trash.

  • The Unveiled

    Sorry May… I meant to post the reply to “Aaron” the retarded cretin who posted below.

  • http://danielmiessler.com/ Daniel Miessler

    You'd be more convincing if you wrote well. Confusing there and they're damages the credibility.

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