Jesus vs. McCain/Palin
By Daniel Miessler on November 1st, 2008: Tagged as Humor | Religion

So, Christian McCain supporters, the excercise for you is to figure out what’s wrong with this argument. In other words, why is this an unfair comparison?
I actually think I know the common Republican-Christian response to this:
Jesus taught those things in a different time and place. We are dealing with reality out here on the ground. These aren’t teachings that are meant to be followed day-to-day in a literal sense…
So basically the teachings of Jesus are way too liberal and socialist for them to apply in today’s world? So your reality is that of the GOP, and since it conflicts with that of Jesus, Jesus is “out of touch”?
Do you have any idea how lame that sounds?
Either abandon the GOP’s “let people fend for themselves” and “keep the military strong” or abandon Jesus’s “judge not that you be judged” and “turn the other cheek”. You can’t embrace the former all week and the latter on Sunday. Well, actually you can, but not without being an asshole.
This is the ultimate manifestation of cognitive dissonance in Christian Republicans: Jesus was the ultimate socialist, and yet they vote for George Bush and John McCain.
Ask yourself this–and I’m not even joking (even though it is humorous): Who do you think Jesus would vote for if McCain and Obama were to get up there and do their thing in front of him for 30 minutes? Would it be Obama with the whole “middle class” pitch, or McCain with the “that guy’s a socialist” pitch?
No, stop laughing. Stop sneering. Answer me. Seriously. And no, I’m not saying you should vote for Obama because Jesus would. I’m a fucking atheist. My point is that with all three (Jesus, McCain, and Obama) on stage–one of them is not like the other. And it’s probably the guy who said, “I’ll always hate the Gooks”, and “Bomb, bomb, Iran” who won’t get the pass. Plus McCain would be the only white guy on stage (Jesus was very dark).
That’s the funny part. If John McCain, Obama, and Jesus were all on stage. Who would Jesus look the most like? Yep, not McCain. Just imagine the looks on the faces of McCain/Palin supporters as they watch Jesus, with dark skin, while he goes on about “giving away your possessions” and stopping war, and ending famine.
Suddenly a good Christian white man jumps on stage:
I don’t know who this dark-ass, socialist a-rab is, but if he say’s he’s Jesus one more time I swear to God I’ll kill him myself. Nobody blasphemes **my** religion.
(cheering from the crowd) (especially the Palin-ites)
So, yes, I’m being provocative again. Sorry. But the question is a valid and serious one:
Why is this a bad argument? What mistake am I making in my logic? In other words, show me how a giant crowd of McCain/Palin supporters would embrace Jesus’s socialist teachings if they were coming right out of his mouth today. Am I wrong in saying they wouldn’t? Am I wrong in saying that, unless he performed miracles, the majority of the GOP would reject Jesus based on the fact that he doesn’t look like them and doesn’t share their “good conservative values”?
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