Instant Messaging Kills Babies

By Daniel Miessler on August 9th, 2007: Tagged as Culture | Geek | Internet

I think I’m going to stop using IM. If you’ve studied time management systems such as GTD or 4HWW you know that one of the most important concepts is controlling your inputs.

Well, instant messaging does exactly not that. When you sign in to IM your basically saying:

Yeah, so here I am. Anytime you want to say anything at all — even if it’s not important — go ahead and just start talking…

Great. So every time someone wants to spontaneously have an entire conversation with you — you have to either 1) be rude, or 2) stop doing what you should be doing to engage them. I don’t like either of those options.

Think about it. Everyone is usually one of two types of people at any given moment — a busy person who uses IM for short, important messages, or a talker — the person who’s bored and wants to blather on incessantly. We all tend to switch back and forth between the two.

Well here’s the problem: there’s no way to sync these roles among those on your contact list. Some are always in “leave me alone” mode while the others are in “let’s talk about nothing” mode.

And when the “let’s talk about nothing” group engages the “leave me alone” group, you have lost productivity. The trick is that each group is changing membership every few minutes, so there’s no way to know if you’re about to annoy someone (or be annoyed).

I’m increasingly thinking the solution may be not to sign in at all.:

  • Adrian Bool

    Have you dumped all of your phones too? ;-)

    aid

  • Adrian Bool

    Have you dumped all of your phones too? ;-)

    aid

  • Adrian Bool

    Have you dumped all of your phones too? ;-)

    aid

  • http://stimpackdealer.com/ derp

    I keep my phone on silent at all times, and I keep AIM and MSN open but my status is always “unavailable,” which allows me to ignore any message with the excuse “I wasn’t at the PC.” Nowadays.

  • http://stimpackdealer.com/ derp

    I keep my phone on silent at all times, and I keep AIM and MSN open but my status is always “unavailable,” which allows me to ignore any message with the excuse “I wasn’t at the PC.” Nowadays.

  • http://stimpackdealer.com derp

    I keep my phone on silent at all times, and I keep AIM and MSN open but my status is always “unavailable,” which allows me to ignore any message with the excuse “I wasn’t at the PC.” Nowadays.

  • Karl

    Try not signing on for a couple weeks. You’ll be surprised how awesome it is and how much easier it is than you think. I haven’t used AIM for 2 years now and don’t miss it.

  • Karl

    Try not signing on for a couple weeks. You’ll be surprised how awesome it is and how much easier it is than you think. I haven’t used AIM for 2 years now and don’t miss it.

  • Karl

    Try not signing on for a couple weeks. You’ll be surprised how awesome it is and how much easier it is than you think. I haven’t used AIM for 2 years now and don’t miss it.

  • Carl M

    You need to redefine “rude” or use the “invisible” or “BUSY” option most of those systems provide. “BUSY” means .. I’m here, but don’t expect a reply.

  • Carl M

    You need to redefine “rude” or use the “invisible” or “BUSY” option most of those systems provide. “BUSY” means .. I’m here, but don’t expect a reply.

  • Carl M

    You need to redefine “rude” or use the “invisible” or “BUSY” option most of those systems provide. “BUSY” means .. I’m here, but don’t expect a reply.

  • http://slashback.org/blog/ Tim F.

    I only sign on to an im client when I check gmail.

  • http://slashback.org/blog/ Tim F.

    I only sign on to an im client when I check gmail.

  • http://slashback.org/blog/ Tim F.

    I only sign on to an im client when I check gmail.

  • http://phraktured.net/ Aaron Griffin

    I see some people saying “just set your status to XYZ!”, but that’s really not the point here. People still contact you. You still get messages. No matter what you’re doing, BAMF – right in the foreground you get a message from lolfriend57. See, here’s the problem. When you get messages and are marked as “busy”, not only do you STILL get an interruption, but you also still have to parse the message to know if you must ignore it or not.

    Also, I just sent this link over IM to a friend, and didn’t realize the irony.

  • http://phraktured.net/ Aaron Griffin

    I see some people saying “just set your status to XYZ!”, but that’s really not the point here. People still contact you. You still get messages. No matter what you’re doing, BAMF – right in the foreground you get a message from lolfriend57. See, here’s the problem. When you get messages and are marked as “busy”, not only do you STILL get an interruption, but you also still have to parse the message to know if you must ignore it or not.

    Also, I just sent this link over IM to a friend, and didn’t realize the irony.

  • http://phraktured.net Aaron Griffin

    I see some people saying “just set your status to XYZ!”, but that’s really not the point here. People still contact you. You still get messages. No matter what you’re doing, BAMF – right in the foreground you get a message from lolfriend57. See, here’s the problem. When you get messages and are marked as “busy”, not only do you STILL get an interruption, but you also still have to parse the message to know if you must ignore it or not.

    Also, I just sent this link over IM to a friend, and didn’t realize the irony.

  • http://theemetsuiker.nl/ WWILF

    Nice subtle title!

    I’ve stopped using IM a few years ago and I never miss it. Occasionally I do sign in (few times a year) and have a good (as in: it has a subject and I’m happy having talked/chatted to that person afterwards) chat with someone.

    I prefer meeting someone face to face over chat, and e-mail for quick notes, reminders and exchanging e-letters with someone I can’t see very often (because they live too far away). So, no need for IM for me!

    BTW Your sidebar with the shared links runs over this text input area, covering the ends of my sentences a bit (Firefox 2.0.0.6 on Windows XP)

  • http://theemetsuiker.nl/ WWILF

    Nice subtle title!

    I’ve stopped using IM a few years ago and I never miss it. Occasionally I do sign in (few times a year) and have a good (as in: it has a subject and I’m happy having talked/chatted to that person afterwards) chat with someone.

    I prefer meeting someone face to face over chat, and e-mail for quick notes, reminders and exchanging e-letters with someone I can’t see very often (because they live too far away). So, no need for IM for me!

    BTW Your sidebar with the shared links runs over this text input area, covering the ends of my sentences a bit (Firefox 2.0.0.6 on Windows XP)

  • http://theemetsuiker.nl/ WWILF

    Nice subtle title!

    I’ve stopped using IM a few years ago and I never miss it. Occasionally I do sign in (few times a year) and have a good (as in: it has a subject and I’m happy having talked/chatted to that person afterwards) chat with someone.

    I prefer meeting someone face to face over chat, and e-mail for quick notes, reminders and exchanging e-letters with someone I can’t see very often (because they live too far away). So, no need for IM for me!

    BTW Your sidebar with the shared links runs over this text input area, covering the ends of my sentences a bit (Firefox 2.0.0.6 on Windows XP)

  • http://blog.preshweb.co.uk/ David Precious

    @Aaron: “I see some people saying “just set your status to XYZ!”, but that’s really not the point here. People still contact you. You still get messages. No matter what you’re doing, BAMF – right in the foreground you get a message from lolfriend57.”

    Well you need to tell your contacts – “if I’m marked as busy, do not send messages to me unless it’s very important”. If they refuse to respect that, just block them.

  • http://blog.preshweb.co.uk/ David Precious

    @Aaron: “I see some people saying “just set your status to XYZ!”, but that’s really not the point here. People still contact you. You still get messages. No matter what you’re doing, BAMF – right in the foreground you get a message from lolfriend57.”

    Well you need to tell your contacts – “if I’m marked as busy, do not send messages to me unless it’s very important”. If they refuse to respect that, just block them.

  • http://blog.preshweb.co.uk/ David Precious

    @Aaron: “I see some people saying “just set your status to XYZ!”, but that’s really not the point here. People still contact you. You still get messages. No matter what you’re doing, BAMF – right in the foreground you get a message from lolfriend57.”

    Well you need to tell your contacts – “if I’m marked as busy, do not send messages to me unless it’s very important”. If they refuse to respect that, just block them.


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